How to Write an Obituary

To write an obituary, start with the person's full legal name, age, and city of residence, then include: date and place of death, a biographical summary (birthplace, education, career, marriage), surviving and predeceased family members, funeral or memorial service details, and where to send donations or flowers. Most obituaries run 200 to 500 words, and you can write one in a few hours using the step-by-step structure below.

An obituary serves several purposes: it announces the death to the community, provides service details, and — most importantly — tells the story of a life. It is one of the few documents that will represent this person to the world after they are gone. That weight can make it feel impossible to write, especially while grieving.

Here is the reassuring truth: there is no wrong way to write an obituary. There is a standard structure that most obituaries follow, and once you have the framework, the words come more easily than you expect. This guide walks you through each element, gives you a template to follow, and helps you navigate the practical decisions about where and how to publish.

Every obituary should include these core elements. You can add more or leave some out, but this is the standard framework:

1. Full Name and Identifying Information

Start with the person's full legal name, including maiden name if applicable. Include any widely known nicknames in quotation marks. Add their age, city of residence, and the date of death. Example: Margaret "Maggie" Anne Sullivan (nee O'Brien), 78, of Austin, Texas, died peacefully on March 15, 2026, surrounded by her family.

2. Place and Cause of Death (Optional)

Including the cause of death is a personal choice. Some families prefer to include it, especially if raising awareness could help others (such as cancer, heart disease, or addiction). Others prefer privacy. Both choices are valid. If you do include it, common phrasing is "after a courageous battle with..." or "after a brief illness." If the death was sudden, you might say "unexpectedly" or "suddenly."

3. Biographical Summary

This is the heart of the obituary. Include:

• Birth: Date and place of birth, parents' names
• Education: Schools attended, degrees earned, academic honors
• Career: Key jobs, professional accomplishments, years of service
• Marriage: When and where they married, spouse's name
• Military service: Branch, rank, years of service, notable assignments
• Hobbies and passions: What they loved to do, what made them light up
• Community involvement: Church, volunteer work, organizations, coaching
• Personality: What people will remember about them — their laugh, their generosity, their terrible puns, their famous chili recipe

4. Survivors (Preceded and Survived By)

List immediate family members in this order: spouse, children (with spouses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, and parents (if living). For those who died before the person, use "preceded in death by." For living family, use "survived by." Example:

She is survived by her husband of 52 years, Thomas; children Michael (Jennifer) Sullivan and Sarah (David) Martinez; grandchildren Emma, Jack, and Olivia; and sister Patricia Walsh. She was preceded in death by her parents, James and Mary O'Brien, and brother Timothy O'Brien.

Navigating family complexity: Blended families, estranged relatives, and ex-spouses require careful consideration. The general rule is to include anyone the deceased would have wanted included. If there is a dispute, err on the side of inclusion — an obituary is not the place to settle scores.

5. Service Details

Include: type of service (funeral, memorial, celebration of life), date, time, location (with full address), whether it is public or private, and any reception information. If the service has already taken place, note that: "A private family service was held on March 18."

6. Donations and Flowers

If the family prefers donations to a charity in lieu of flowers, include the full name of the organization and how to donate. Example: In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the American Heart Association at heart.org.

Here is a fill-in-the-blank structure you can use as your starting point:

Opening:

[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully/unexpectedly/after a long illness] on [date] at [location — hospital, home, care facility].

Early Life:

[He/She/They] was born on [date] in [City, State] to [parents' names]. [He/She/They] grew up in [place] and graduated from [school/college] in [year]. [Add a sentence or two about early life — childhood, formative experiences, early interests.]

Marriage and Family:

[He/She/They] married [spouse's name] on [date] in [location]. Together, they [raised X children / built a life in City / traveled the world / etc.].

Career and Accomplishments:

[He/She/They] worked as a [profession] at [company/organization] for [X years], where [he/she/they] [notable accomplishment]. [He/She/They] retired in [year] after a [X-year] career in [field].

Personality and Passions:

[Name] was known for [personality trait — warmth, humor, generosity, fierce loyalty]. [He/She/They] loved [hobbies, interests, passions]. [Add a specific anecdote or detail that captures who they were — this is the paragraph people will remember.]

Survivors:

[He/She/They] is survived by [list]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [list].

Service Details:

A [funeral/memorial service/celebration of life] will be held at [time] on [date] at [location, full address]. [Visitation/viewing details if applicable.] [Reception details.]

Donations:

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [organization] at [website or address].

You do not have to follow this template rigidly. Some families write obituaries that read like a story. Others add humor, poetry, or quotes. The best obituaries sound like the person they are about — so if your mother was funny, it is okay for the obituary to be funny too.

You have two main options for publishing an obituary, and you can do both:

Newspaper Obituaries

Traditional newspaper obituaries appear in the print edition and usually on the paper's website. Key things to know:

• Cost: Newspaper obituaries are paid by the word or by the line. A typical obituary costs $200 to $1,500 depending on length and the newspaper. Major metros like the New York Times can charge $500+ per line. A small-town paper might charge $100 to $300 total.
• Photos: Most newspapers charge an additional $50 to $200 for a photo.
• Deadline: Newspapers have strict deadlines — often 24 to 48 hours before the publication date. Ask about timing when you call.
• Editing: The newspaper will proofread for errors but will not rewrite your obituary. Some papers have length limits.
• Reach: Newspaper obituaries are still the standard in many communities, especially for older generations. If the deceased was active in a local community, a newspaper obituary ensures their peers see it.

Online Obituaries

Many families now publish obituaries online, either in addition to or instead of a newspaper. Options include:

• Funeral home website: Most funeral homes post obituaries on their site for free as part of their services. These often include a guestbook for condolence messages.
• Dedicated obituary sites: Legacy.com, Tributes.com, and EverLoved.com let you create online memorials with photos, videos, and guestbooks. Some are free; others charge for premium features.
• Social media: A Facebook post or a memorial page can reach a wide audience quickly. This is increasingly common, especially for reaching people who do not read newspapers.

Our recommendation: At minimum, have the funeral home post the obituary on their website (usually free) and share it on social media. Add a newspaper obituary if the deceased was active in a local community where print readership is strong. If cost is a concern, keep the newspaper version short (name, dates, service details, survivors) and publish the longer version online.

Writing an obituary while grieving is genuinely difficult. Here are some strategies that help:

• Do not write alone. Gather family members and share stories. One person can take notes while others talk about the person's life. This is often a healing experience in itself — and it produces better material than sitting alone trying to remember everything.
• Start with facts, then add feeling. Begin by listing the factual information (dates, places, names). Once the skeleton is in place, go back and add the personality — the stories, the quirks, the details that made this person who they were.
• Write more than you need, then edit down. It is easier to cut than to add. Get everything on the page first, then trim to the length you need.
• Read it out loud. This catches awkward phrasing and helps you hear whether it sounds like the person it is about.
• Ask someone outside the family to proofread. Grief makes it hard to catch errors, and you do not want a misspelled name or wrong date in a permanent document.
• Give yourself a deadline — but not today. You usually have 2 to 3 days before the obituary needs to be submitted. Use that time. Sleep on a draft before finalizing it.
• Remember: it does not have to be perfect. The obituary is one representation of this person's life, not the only one. It cannot capture everything, and it does not need to. Write what feels true and important, and let the rest go.

After reviewing thousands of obituaries, here are the most common mistakes — and how to avoid them:

• Forgetting to include service details. The primary practical purpose of an obituary is to tell people when and where to pay their respects. Double-check that the date, time, and full address are included and correct.
• Getting names and relationships wrong. Have at least two family members verify the list of survivors and the spelling of every name. Getting someone's name wrong in an obituary is surprisingly painful for the person left out or misnamed.
• Making it a resume instead of a portrait. A list of accomplishments is not an obituary. The best obituaries include at least one detail that makes you feel like you knew the person — their love of bad movies, their habit of feeding every stray cat in the neighborhood, the way they called everyone "kiddo."
• Not mentioning the cause of death when it could help others. This is a personal decision, but if the person died of something where awareness could save lives — cancer, heart disease, addiction, suicide — naming it can be a powerful final act of service. Many families find meaning in directing donations to related organizations.
• Waiting too long to submit. Newspapers have hard deadlines. If you want the obituary to appear before the funeral, ask the paper about their timing as soon as you begin writing.
• Copying a generic template without personalizing it. Templates are starting points, not final products. The parts that make an obituary meaningful are the specific, personal details that only someone who knew the deceased could include.

Here are two examples to illustrate different lengths and approaches:

Short Version (150 words — suitable for newspaper)

Robert "Bob" James Henderson, 82, of Portland, Oregon, passed away peacefully on March 10, 2026, surrounded by his family. Born August 3, 1943, in Boise, Idaho, to William and Dorothy Henderson, Bob served in the U.S. Army, earned his engineering degree from Oregon State University, and spent 35 years at Pacific Power. He was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather whose workshop was always open and whose coffee pot was always on. He is survived by his wife of 58 years, Carol; children David (Maria) Henderson and Lisa (Tom) Brooks; grandchildren Ryan, Emma, Jake, and Sophie; and sister Janet Miller. He was preceded in death by his parents and brother William Jr. Services will be held at 11 AM on March 14 at Grace Lutheran Church, 2514 NE Hancock St, Portland. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Habitat for Humanity.

Longer Version (350 words — suitable for online or larger newspaper)

Robert "Bob" James Henderson, 82, of Portland, Oregon, died peacefully at home on March 10, 2026, with his wife Carol and their children by his side. He had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November 2025 and spent his final months doing exactly what he had done for the previous 82 years: making everyone around him feel like the most important person in the room.

Bob was born on August 3, 1943, in Boise, Idaho, the eldest son of William and Dorothy Henderson. After serving in the U.S. Army from 1962 to 1965, he attended Oregon State University on the GI Bill, earning a degree in electrical engineering. He married Carol Ann Mitchell on June 12, 1967, at St. Mary's Church in Boise — a day he described as "the only smart thing I ever did."

Bob spent 35 years as an engineer at Pacific Power, where he was known equally for his technical brilliance and his habit of leaving dad jokes on the office whiteboard. He retired in 2003 and immediately turned his garage into a woodworking shop, producing furniture, birdhouses, and an alarming number of cutting boards that he gave to anyone who stood still long enough.

He coached Little League for 12 years, served on the board of Grace Lutheran Church, and never once missed a grandchild's school play, recital, or game — even the ones that were, in his words, "a little rough around the edges."

Bob is survived by his wife Carol; son David (Maria) Henderson of Portland; daughter Lisa (Tom) Brooks of Seattle; grandchildren Ryan, Emma, Jake, and Sophie; and sister Janet Miller of Boise. He was preceded in death by his parents and brother William Jr.

A celebration of life will be held at 11 AM on Saturday, March 14, at Grace Lutheran Church, 2514 NE Hancock St, Portland, followed by a reception in the church hall. The family invites you to wear flannel — Bob would have insisted.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Habitat for Humanity at habitat.org or the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network at pancan.org.

Notice how the longer version includes specific details — the whiteboard jokes, the cutting boards, the flannel — that make you feel like you knew Bob. That is what separates a good obituary from a generic one.